Mom’s Cherished Son and Dad’s Cherished Daughter

The first woman in everyone’s life—the mother—plays an essential role in a boy's journey to becoming a man. To truly become a man, a son must let go of his attachment to this first woman in his life—his mother. In order to step fully into his own manhood, he needs to move beyond his mother’s influence. If a son remains deeply influenced by his mother alone, he often develops feminine qualities as he moves through adolescence, potentially hindering his ability to become a man and later, a husband. However, when a "mom’s cherished son" marries, he may subconsciously seek a replacement for his mother in his partner, affecting the depth and balance of the relationship.

 ---------------------------------

Similarly, the first man in a girl’s life—her father—holds a vital place in her journey to womanhood. To grow into a woman, a daughter must release her attachment to the first man in her life—her father. This process involves moving out of her father’s influence and back under the nurturing sphere of her mother. If a daughter remains purely under her father’s influence, she may remain in a stage of seeking male attention and validation, preventing her from maturing into a woman and a wife. When "dad’s cherished daughter" marries, she may be seeking her father’s substitute in her spouse. To build a fulfilling relationship, she must overcome this internal dynamic, shifting from her father’s influence to her mother’s. Embracing her own womanhood allows her to truly connect with her partner as an equal, forming the foundation for a successful relationship.

Extracted from “Rising in Love” by Bert Hellinger