Resolving Conflicts: A Triple Win Method for Teachers, Students, and Parents

In the classroom, Teacher Marianne Franke-Gricksch effectively applies systemic constellation methods, using representatives to reenact and resolve conflicts. In classrooms where students have experienced systemic constellation, they tend to show greater care and respect for one another. However, serious conflicts are still inevitable and can disrupt the flow of lessons. In such moments, prompt intervention is necessary for finding a resolution.

The children themselves discovered that, in a conflict, the opposing sides could select two uninvolved peers to serve as representatives and conduct a constellation. This process shifts their focus toward finding possible solutions, rather than expending energy on recounting events or taking sides to assign blame. The constellation offers insights into the deeper dynamics of the conflict, such as whether the representatives stand far apart or close together, face each other, or look away. On one occasion, a boy kicked a girl from another class. The girl’s older sister, who was in the boy’s class, retaliated by hitting him. Typically, such incidents would lead to widespread discussion among the entire class, with everyone having their own opinions and witnesses offering their versions of the story. As a result, the conflict quickly intensifies, escalating into a nearly unmanageable dispute. But this time, the two students involved each chose a boy and a girl to represent them in a constellation. The representatives were placed far apart, yet they didn’t appear hostile toward each other. The boy’s representative expressed that he didn’t harbor resentment toward the girl, aside from being frequently annoyed by her younger sister. At this point, I introduced a representative for the younger sister, who was in another class. This addition unlocked the dynamics of the conflict. The newly added representative admitted she found the boy annoying and had intentionally provoked him. Hearing this, the boy’s representative moved toward her, raising his hand as if to hit her. I stepped in to prevent any physical escalation. The boy explained he was frustrated and acted out because of the provocation. Meanwhile, the girl’s older sister stepped in between the two and declared, “I must protect my sister, no matter whether she’s right or wrong.” This underscored a fundamental truth: family loyalty often takes precedence over a sense of justice. Without knowing all the details beforehand, we reenacted the conflict through the constellation. The entire class observed the reenactment in complete silence, deeply engrossed. I then asked everyone what could be done to resolve the situation. The representative for the girl from the other class apologized to the boy and bowed slightly. The boy extended his hand in response, signaling reconciliation. They shook hands, and the tension visibly lifted. The older sister, who had hit the boy, also approached him and apologized, saying, “I only acted because of my sister.” To further mend the situation, I suggested the girl offer the boy a token of goodwill to show she truly regretted her actions. The boy nodded, though he still appeared upset. Later, when he returned to his desk, he found a piece of candy waiting for him. The conflict had been resolved. Teacher Marianne reflects: “In many of the conflicts we’ve resolved using this method, the children learned that without a clear act of goodwill, reconciliation is impossible. Reenacting the conflict through actions rather than words soothes the children and restores harmony to the classroom. Everyone understands that the 'offender' must make amends, and they learn which gestures are effective in repairing relationships. It’s like a secret power within the conscience of every child, bringing emotional stability in a remarkably short time.”