Merging with Reality

Hellinger: Sometimes, we try to fight against death, but has anyone ever succeeded in doing so? Fighting against death or destiny? This is the dream of a child. Children often hold such beliefs, and it's quite endearing. She wants to save her family.

But how could she possibly save her family? It’s a noble, yet outdated idea. However, after some time, everyone must come to acknowledge that there is a greater force at play. The only thing we can do is bow, accept, and agree. Only then do we gain strength. Only then do we merge into this reality. But you still have a long way to go, I can see that. Sometimes, our insights and wisdom only come through suffering. Other times, we don’t have to suffer to gain insight; sometimes, even after enduring much pain, the insight may never come. As I mentioned earlier, most of the issues arise because children try to interfere with the fate of their parents. I’ve also spoken clearly about the art of helping others. We always need to merge with reality, with the truth of things. We must not allow ourselves to be dragged into or caught up in situations where we cannot do anything. When we support unrealistic hopes, as a helper, you merge with the person’s fate, their guilt, and even their death. We do not fight against anyone’s death.

Extracted from “The Art of Helping – Bert Hellinger’s Family Constellation Workshop” DVD