Love is a Gift

Philosopher and psychotherapist Wolfgang Giegerich gives a moving description of love: "Through love, we experience the dynamics of giving and receiving; love is a gift." Love allows a person to discover their unique qualities through the interplay of giving and receiving. Simultaneously, that person becomes the focus of love, the embodiment of love, and its tangible presence. Through them, love is expressed and brought to life. Relationships are one of life’s most significant lessons. They teach us about the power, sweetness, and presence of love. They allow us to feel the richness and fullness of life. However, love also brings experiences of longing, disappointment, and shattered hopes. Even though we may yearn for a connection with a partner as intimate as the bond we had in our mother’s womb, such a desire is destined to remain unfulfilled. The inevitable disappointments in romantic relationships are crucial for our inner growth. Moving from hopeful anticipation to disillusionment can perhaps help us recognize the unrealistic illusions we hold onto. This process allows us to see our mistakes and let go of those illusions and false expectations. I use the word “perhaps” because relationships also offer us growth, nourishment, and opportunities to learn. If everything in life were purely negative, I believe no one would be able to get through it. Whether preparing to take the next step in life or embracing a new beginning, we need strength, encouragement, and a sense of direction. We also need a quiet space where we can reflect, find balance, and discover a new path forward. Relationships, too, must contain these elements and processes. Without them, a relationship holds no true meaning. We must understand that experiencing disappointment and unfulfilled expectations is an inevitable part of life. These experiences are profoundly meaningful and significant. If we can embrace such transformations, our inner selves will naturally evolve. True love is about being mentally prepared to face the joys and sorrows, the ups and downs, of life. It means accepting your loved one for who they truly are, rather than blaming them or criticizing them for not living up to an ideal when things don’t go as planned.

By: Wilfried Nelles