Children's Illnesses and Attachment Behaviors

Parents are our first connection to the strength of our ancestors. This ancestral energy, deeply rooted in every inherent culture, serves as the foundation for a healthy life. In a relationship filled with respect and harmony, we can embrace the life that our parents have given us. However, entanglements in the family system or experiences of early separation trauma may cause a child to develop insecure attachments, leading to emotional stagnation and a lack of deep emotional fulfillment. In my view, reconciling with one's parents internally is one of the most crucial aspects of systemic constellation work related to illness. From a developmental psychology perspective, the parent-child bond—particularly with the mother—plays a crucial role in a child's survival and well-being. British psychologist John Bowlby's research on attachment behavior and its effects on mental development has offered significant insights. His findings have garnered increasing interest from the fields of psychology and psychotherapy, and systemic constellation work further underscores their importance. Systemic constellation has shown that disruptions in childhood attachment can lead to emotional challenges, which, in turn, can affect physical health. The following situations have been identified as triggers for attachment disturbances:

1. A child may experience a lack of early bonding due to a parent’s prolonged illness or because the child was given up for adoption, placed in foster care, or sent to a care facility.

2. Early, temporary separation from the mother or father leads to an "interrupted bonding process".

3. A parent's capacity to love is limited due to personal trauma or entanglements within their own family, leading to the child's insecure attachment.

Regardless of the underlying causes of early parent-child separation, the outcome is often the same: children feel trapped in an unmet longing for closeness with their parents. Many systemic constellation cases show that these traumatic experiences can be resolved. In addition to the reconciliation and peace that constellation work brings, engaging in trauma healing at a physiological level is also recommended.

Extracted from “Even if it Costs me my Life: Systemic Constellations and Serious Illness” by Stephan Hausner